For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf

I finally saw the play turned movie For Colored Girls. One word describes my experience: heavy.

All my friends that had saw it before me, said I would leave the theater feeling really depressed and angry. However, I left feeling inquisitive and inspired. I don't want to spoil the film for anyone that has not seen it, but the film unmasks many issues that plague African American girls and women. These criminal, physical, emotional and health issues are rarely discussed in the African American community. Seeing all the problems happening simultaneously was indeed overwhelming. Black girls and women experience these problems simultaneously.

These experiences go on unnoticed by society and policymakers for many reasons. The emphasis on discretion in black families, lack of trustworthy reporting centers and, quite frankly, no money to pay for medical care are just a few. Violence was involved in many of the stories described in the film, but none of them women were criminals. When looking at urban violence, policy makers and researchers tend to look at girls and women that are in group homes or correctional facilities.

That is where I come in. If you have not seen the movie, please go see it! If you have seen the movie, don't leave it thinking "wow, Tyler Perry made black men look terrible." Consciously, think about the critiques of political, social and economic systems embodied in the male characters. The stories seem far-fetched, some maybe, but I have seen many in my own community.

My research will take me into Hunter's Point and start investigating what's really going on in the lives of these girls. A scholar that has done a qualitative study with African American adolescent girls is Jody Miller in Getting Played.

I'm back and busy as ever!

It has been too long since my last blog entry. The last time I sat down to write one, it was full of stability and happiness. But me being Courtney, everything is always changing!

I am still HAPPY as ever!

Kendra visited from Boston this weekend 10/17/10

Funny dinner at 1300 Fillmore in SF 10/9/10

I took a trip back home two weekends ago to celebrate the homegoing of my Aunt Mary. She passed away about three weeks ago, so I went home to be with my family and make sure we were celebrating and NOT grieving. In Psalms 34:18, the Bible says, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Later in Psalms 37:39, the word says "The salvation of the righteous comes from the LORD; he is their stronghold in time of trouble." My aunt is no longer plagued with many illnesses. She is happy and doing her happy dance with my mom.

Before leaving for San Francisco, the most wonderful city in the world, I pitched my research idea to my program director. Remember the idea I was so excited about? Studying the effects of natural disasters on people of African descent in the Bronx (and in New Orleans). Yes, social justice at its best. She loved the idea and posed probing questions to me to better understand the topic and where I should go with it. As we spoke, I realized that I would be immersed in this literature and topic for 15 months. Instead of thinking of what will look good to law school, I literally handed her my bibliography to throw in recycling and told her what my urban studies heart's desire is. My masters thesis will focus on the effects of urban violence on adolescent girls in Hunter's Point, San Francisco.

I know too many people that are affected by the violence that takes place in Hunter's Point. As I matriculate further in my MA program, we are continuously reading about violence/poverty in distant developing countries on the world's periphery or American megacities like New York, NY and Los Angeles, CA. While San Francisco always invokes images of joy, hippies, fog, the Golden Gate Bridge and an overall happy atomsphere. There's a need for research on Hunter's Point to expose the serious environmental, social, economic and downright humanistic inequalities taking place there.

My number one inspiration for the thesis, as usual, is my younger sister. Before my mother passed away on November 24, 2006, Breana (then 16) had already lost four close friends to gun violence. I believe two were involved in gang violence but one girl was not. She was walking to her grandmother's house, right off 3rd Street, and was shot. This girl was an academic athlete in high school and working hard to go to college. We have read the literature on what we thinks makes these young black men enter lives of crime, but what about the young girls that are caught in gunfire while walking to school? What about the female friends of the teenage boys that are murdered? What about the girl that grows up in a single-mother household because her teenage father was murdered? Is there a connection between urban violence and young black girls in Hunter's Point's America Dream of being a baby mama and living in government housing for the rest of their lives or until the baby's father gets out of prison?

I will conduct field study, interviewing girls and women in Hunter's Point next summer.

In the meantime

The highlight of my week were the great meetings I had between Wednesday at noon and Thursday at noon.

My first appointment on Wednesday at noon was successful. Before arriving, however, I had another run-in with NY MTA. I went to Google maps and typed in the address for directions to my two interviews. To ensure I went the most precise route, I went to the NY MTA website. Using those directions I went to wait for the public transit. I was waiting for the "NY commuter train." Surprisingly, it was a real train.... I was nervous because I had a ticket for the subway but I thought, be bold and just get on. I get on the train and the security guard asks for my ticket. Of course, not the right ticket. He said he would give me a ticket and I could pay the city later. Praise God - the train came to my stop. The man had not come. So I blended into the crowd and made my way to the interview. Karma hit me. I got lost and end up being 15 minutes late to the interview.

Fortunately, the office of City Councilmember Gale Brewer was warm and welcoming

She represents the Upper West Side. When I start working there, I will be part of the legislative/budgeting sector and the housing development department!

After that interview, I safely and quickly made my way to the Gap on 5th Avenue for my next interview. It also went extremely well! I'll be working in the Men's store of the Gap on 5th Avenue. So come and visit!

On Thursday morning, I met with the African American Studies department chair at Fordham University. After talking about the unique and untold history of the Bronx, I decided to focus this semester's research on the neighborhood. I will be investigating the different housing developments that have (or have not emerged) for low-income families after the 1970's city fires.

Since I'll be studying my surrounding community, I plan to intern at an agency that aims to solves the Bronx housing development issues. The Women's Housing and Economic Development Corporation works directly with the people and provides usable and tangible resources. I'm interviewing there this week... Wish me luck!

The Rough Life of Courtney Ball

Hey everyone!
I missed the second week of blogging... Why do you ask?! Let me take a second and vent one last time about last weekend.

I went to visit my sorority sisters at University of Amherst and at Boston University. As I made my way back from a long weekend of fun and laughter, I was excited yet anxious about taking the bus to Manhattan Chinatown because I did not have subway directions to get me home. When I arrived, I said "Courtney, you're a New Yorker now. Just get on the subway and figure it out." I walked down the steps to the gloomy subway, which smells of the now familiar stench of dirt, filth, and mystery, but felt confident that I could find my way home. I got on the subway, made it to Fordham Rd station. Unfortunately, there are two Fordham Rd stations, but a-ha! I was still in a familiar part of the Bronx so I walked to the bus stop.


Let me rewind, as I'm making my way home, it is pouring profusely. I am wearing one my signature pink and green dresses with cute gold sandals. I power-walked to the bus stop but noticed all the streets were blocked. So, I waited for 15 minutes and became highly irritated. I walked the mile home, in the rain, with a dress and my glasses on. I could see though! I just kept doing the windshield-wiper move on my glasses so they would clear.

I wasn't happy at all. Used the picture for the pink and green

Long story short, I was sick most of last week and had to presentations in my classes. I think I won the class over with my charm and story of walking in the rain though. In my classes, we're discussing the correlation between mega-cities (cities of 8 million people or more) and the slums that most people live in in those cities. Very sad stuff but a trend we will continuously see in a capitalist/globalized world.

I've narrowed my masters thesis too. I'm leaning towards the effects of natural disasters on land use development in urban areas. I hope to either study Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans or the earthquake in Haiti. I would spend most of next summer in New Orleans or Haiti. What do you think?!

New Orleans?!?!?!

or Haiti?!?!?!!?

Hello family and friends!
I have been in New York for a little over a week now. I miss you all and San Francisco very much! Even though I graduated from USF and spent four years living away from home, I feel like a freshman all over again. It's exciting and scary all at the same time. I live in a really nice/empty apartment, in a vibrant and cultural neighborhood - across the street from Fordham University.

Over the past week, there have been a few frustrating and lost times. I took, well, attempted to take the bus to Target. Got off at the wrong stop and walked the mile to Target in 95 degree heat. Thanked the Lord when I arrived at Target and felt the air conditioning! Thanked Him again when I found some cheap queen-size sheets. Got back to my apartment after arguing with the bus driver (buses cost an inconvenient $2.25 and the crap doesn't take dollars) only to realize that I bought a bedskirt - not sheets. Just lovely!

This was just one day of the seven of my new life out here in NY. I started the blog to keep in touch with everyone and chronicle the amazing things I do here. I plan on blogging every Sunday. I'll keep funny and optimistic. At the same time, I want you all to learn, as I learn, about my field of Urban Studies.

(That could be me up there in Spain!)
BTW, I plan on studying abroad next summer. GASP! I know, but feel free to leave suggestions!